The End of school ...

Wow! This school year has been quite interesting. One thing after another for the family & I and I am so thankful that my kids have been strong troopers in dealing with all the stress and major life changes we have encountered.

• I became a stay at home mom for a few months.
• Mark, Spencer, Mila & I moved from Houston to New Braunfels in the beginning of the school year.
• I went from being a single mom in Houston to moving in with Tom.
• Mark began Kindergarden.
• After a month of being in school in New Braunfels, we had to move from our tiny two bedroom apt to our house.
• Literally, the same day I moved into the home, I started a brand new job.
• Mila went through extensive testing with the school district and through a private doctor and was diagnosed with PDD (a high functioning, mild form of Autism)
• Mark & Mila were potty trained sucessfully within weeks of each other
• Tom's parents came to live with us from mid-December to mid-February to help with my pregnancy.
• We welcomed Audrey Elizabeth to our family in February.
• I returned to work.

So here we are to today....
The move to New Braunfels was an adjustment, but quite a blessing. Tom is the 1st father figure Mila has ever experienced. Spencer adjusted beautifully and misses Tom regularly when he has closing shifts at work. Little Mark handled this transition beautifully also! I think this was of great benefit for all the kiddos.

Mark starting Kindergarden was another rough adjustment. He was 1/2 day special ed & 1/2 day "inclusion" in Houston and began full day Kindergarden here in New Braunfels, much to my surprise. This has been a mixed blessing because Mark has gained many skills in Kindergarden, but he is also left to "flounder" by himself in class often. There is a constant battle that I fight at the school about one thing or another. They probably hate me, but that is what the parent of a special needs child has to do...advocate for their children. He is such a difficult case because he is not the stereotypical autistic child with agressive behaviors, yet he is not quite up to speed with the other kids to be left alone. The school just assumes that Mark will know what to do. It is almost as if he is being punished for being so bright, but he still lacks the communication, social & cognitive skills of his typical peers. HIs doctor advised that he has the communication skills of a 3 to 4 year old. Despite Mark's report card that shows all N's (Working significantly below grade level) the school still insists on promoting my child to the 1st grade. Mark can barely write his name, much less write a sentence which is a basic requirement in 1st grade. The school's response, "he will be Autistic forever, we just have to let the skills come to him". What is that about?

Tom, Tom, Tom....I can't say enough wonderful things about my darling boyfriend/paramour/finacee/partner in crime, etc. etc. Everybody loves him. The school constantly reminds me of "what a good man" I have. He is usually the only dad that shows up to school events. It isn't even his responsibility but he has taken on the task of raising 3 toddlers, 2 of which have special needs. ARD (admit, review, dismissal) meetings, setting IEP (Individualized Education Plan) goals, ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy. All of it, he takes the kids to all the necessary treaments, therapies, doctors appointments; learns about all that is involved, and researches all he can to learn more about the world of Autism. It has been a true blessing. Tom is my rock...a great strong support. I can lean on him and trust him with anything. He contributes emotionally by being at all the meetings & appointments, encouraging me when I throw my hands in the air and want to give up. He contributes financially also. He has given me the opportunity to work part-time so I can spend time with the children which is HUGE. Not that we can afford it, but he knows the importance of mom in a home. He pays for all the therapy and treatment that we think may help the kids. He has paid for Dr's visits and medication when the kids haven't had the insurance they needed. What a man!

Moving into our home was truely a blessing. We love the space of our home and the kids love their special playroom. Can you imagine cramming 6 children & 2 adults in a 2 bedroom apt. At our house it can still be pretty tight with now 6 children, an infant & 2 adults. better, but tight at times.

For the first time in my life, I can say that I truely love my job! I like the flexibility & the opportunity I have. Sometimes the freedom can be daunting, but I do enjoy not having a micromanager boss and not having to punch a clock. That no clock to punch thing can be a bit of a disadvantage too...another post for another day....I do love my job. Its almost like an escape at times.

Mark & Mila out of diapers! AMEN! I love not having to chase their stinky bottoms anymore. Once again, couldn't have done it without my love Tom!

Mila's diagnosis has hit me really hard. I can usually handle anything & keep going without skipping a beat, but Mila is much different than little Mark. I am so overwhelmed with the differences at time that all I can do is just sit and veg out. There is much hope that Mila will be off the spectrum much sooner than Mark, but the journey until we reach the end of that path is long and hard. Keeping track of appointments, therapy, teachers, contacts....eek!!

Once again, Tom Tom Tom...he AND his family are just WONDERFUL people. I love him to death & I totally understand where he got the integrity, values & beliefs that he has. His parents drove all the way from OH to TX & stayed with us for 2 months just to help me out with the end of my pregnancy. I had ALL my laundry caught up and we didn't have to cook a single meal. On top of everything, they were tremendous moral support when Tom & I needed it most. Talk about answered prayers.

Finally, but certainly not least...we welcomed beautiful Audrey Elizabeth into our family. Between Tom & I that makes #8. Just when I thought my heart could not love anymore, I get the tremendous blessing to hold the most beautiful little girl. She is the perfect blend of Tom & I. Just as she was created, a beautiful blend of our love. She is growing so much and just so perfect. There is so much power to that statement that I just can't elaborate on it much more...
My pregnancy with Audrey was probably the best despite all the stress and changes we went through. Tom truely showed me how much he cares for my children and I. He took great care of us and did his best to provide for us on an emotional, spiritual and material level. In my humble opinion, that is how a pregnancy is supposed to be. Audrey's brothers & sisters love her so much and want to take care of her. She came into this world with so much love, and despite so many obstacles, I have no doubt that Audrey will be destined for much greatness in her life.

All of that to say...I am truely blessed each & every day. Every breath & every sunrise is a gift and I couldn't be any happier.

Just when I thought..

Just when I thought all hope was gone and I felt so lonely in my battle for Trey, I have been introduced to some GREAT parents. I figured, being a single mom of 3 toddlers under the age of 5, (one of which has special needs) doesn't leave much room for a social life. Even by myself it tends to be a challenge. We get funny looks because Trey loves to run up to everybody's table at restaurants if he sees something he likes to eat. Spencer will have a tantrum for attention and Mila will escape because she's got the opportunity to do so. I figured, my life is my children. Nothing glamourous but quite fulfilling. When I first separated from my husband I wanted to be "Meredith", not worry about responsibilities for a while and catch up on all the partying I didn't get to do while I was married & pregnant. Then my focus shifted to career. Later it was my hobbies. Now, I am finally ready to be a mother. I think I am ready to be Trey's mother. What I mean by that is finally I have woken up and realized the amount of work and responsibility it takes to be the mother of an Autistic child. I have been enrolled in a University I really didn't want to attend. I know more about neurological disorders and testing, the special education system than I ever wanted to. To see how far we have come in Trey's development is more rewarding than any diploma or grade I have received. Seeing how far I have to go is a welcome challenge. I am ready to show all those who told me I couldn't or he wouldn't....I HAVE and TREY DOES.

The whole purpose of this entry was to share with all this wonderful site I ran across recently. I have been struggling with my spiritual fulfillment and the daily battle of being the mother of an Autistic child. www.childrenofdestiny.org I think is my little answer. I will see how it goes, but the daily inspiration and weekly topics may help.

1st Day of School

Today will be Trey & Spencer's 1st day of school for the 05-06 school year. I think I am more anxious than them. I know the drill, same teacher as last year and the whole bit. I get really anxious because I want so desperately to help Trey Spencer and Mila flourish and develop academically, yet I get SO overwhelmed because I don't know the 1st thing about kids much less special needs kids.

I am happy to see that Ms. Elsner will have some great things for the kids like the board maker, communication folder, all the laminated pictures and everything. As I said before, I get so overwhelmed with everything because I know the kids need mom & dad, but they've just got mom right now. All the meetings, activities and appointments I go to for them there is both parents participating and in attendance for the other students and I'm juggling 3 by myself. The boys get really confused when the whole family tree session in class comes about. I try my best, say tons of prayers and just love them with all my heart. Even since Trey has decided that he doesn't want to communicate, I have to step back and just look at that curly head and big brown puppy dog eyes & remember that he is just a baby.